Archive for October, 2013

“O you who have attained to faith! Remain conscious of Allah, and always speak with a will to bring out [only] what is just and true. He will cause your deeds to be virtuous, and will forgive you your sins. And [know that] whoever pays heed unto Allah and His Apostle (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) has already attained to a mighty triumph.” (Qur’an 33:70-71)
There is a famous saying that you have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion. Some people love the sound of their own voice. The art of good communication is to say what you mean and be heard in the way you want to be heard. The blessed Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) reminds us that “Even a pleasant word is charity”.
Good communication is not:
  • When you shout the loudest
  • When you argue the most
  • When you ignore the opinion of others
  • When you always get your way
There are five principles that govern good communication:
i) Listen carefully: When someone is talking to you, it is important that your body language demonstrates you are actually listening. You should pay attention to what is being said and show empathy.
ii) Say what you mean and mean what you say: If you do not mean it, do not say it, would be the best advice. Words make and break relationships, so say things that will bring the best out of your spouse. Some go too far, using words intended to hurt and cause maximum damage. This is not the best way to communicate, especially not with the person you love!
iii) Do not judge another’s intention: You cannot read minds, therefore do not interpret what is being said using you own biased thoughts. Ask your spouse what the intention was behind what was said. It is reported that the blessed Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) reminds us that we should give the benefit of the doubt even seventy times.
iv) Give feedback: Clarify if you feel you have been misunderstood or not heard right, or if you have not heard something correctly. One way to ensure this happens effectively is to simply say, “Did I hear you right, did you say…” or “Did you mean” or “Let me clarify” or “I may have said it wrong, let me say that again”. These small phrases avoid huge upheavals and hurt feelings. Express how you feel honestly and respectfully. If your spouse does not know how you feel, how will they address the issue?
v) Agree on a resolution: At the end of any conversation, especially a continuous one, do not leave it hanging. Agree on a step forward. It could be as simple as saying “Let’s carry on with this conversation later” or “The way forward on the issue we have discussed is….” Take responsibility, agree on who is going to do what. A conversation that does not end with an agreed resolution usually festers and later turns into a row.
Islam places further emphasis on one or more principle:
vi) Practice what you preach: “O YOU who have attained to faith! Why do you say one thing and do another? Most loathsome is it in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do!” (Qur’an 61:2-3)
People who preach what they do not practice lose respect and credibility. Our loved ones pick up on these obvious contradictions and may harbour negative or ill feelings towards us. This is not the best way to develop respect and get closer to your spouse.
We should not communicate with malice in our heart. We should not harbour suspicions and doubts about our spouse. We should think well of others and speak politely or stay quiet, advised the blessed Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم).
A saying of the blessed Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) highlights the importance of meaningful communication:
“I guarantee a house in the surroundings [outskirts] of Paradise for a person who avoids quarreling even if s/he were in the right; a house in the middle of Paradise for a person who avoids lying even if s/he were joking; and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a person who made her/his character good.”
[Hadith Abu Dawud]

From among the punishment of sins is that they blind the insight and discernment of the heart. Sins extinguish the light of the heart and obstruct the pathway to knowledge. They keep the basic ingredients of guidance hidden from the individual. When Imaam Maalik met ash-Shafi’ee, he noticed that he possessed certain characteristics. He (Maalik) said, “I see that Allaah the Most High, has cast a light upon you, and you do not extinguish it with the darkness of disobedience.”

This light (within the sinner) continues to weaken and fade away as the darkness of disobedience grows stronger until the heart becomes jet-black. How many destructive situations do such people fall into without knowing what has happened? He is like the blind that ventures into the night, along a path filled with danger and peril. Oh, what a great pity! Oh, how quick the ruin!

As these layers of darkness (resulting from sin) grow stronger, their effects pour out from the heart onto the limbs. Then the face is covered with a blackness (whose density) is according to the frequency and increase of the sins. Eventually, at the time of his death, the darkness appears in the grave.

The Prophet (salallaahu ‘alayhie wa sallaam) said:

“إن هده القبور ممتلة على أهلها ظلمة، وإن الله ينورها يصلاتي عليهم”

“Indeed these graves spread a darkness over their people. Allaah provides light for the graves with my prayers for the people.” Saheeh Muslim (no. 956)

Finally, on the Day that the servants are gathered, the faces of the sinners are held high and made visible as the assembled onlookers watch these faces become black as coal. Oh, what a punishment! A punishment to which there is nothing in the entire world that is comparable to it. How much less is the portion of the unfortunate servant who labors endlessly, during a duration that is only a moment in a dream?

Transcribed from: Sins and their Punishments || Ibn ul-Qayyim (rahimahullaah)

I Love You – Allah (Poem)

Posted: October 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

The Love You give me is one of a kind
There are no words to describe Your Mercy You are just so Divine…

My dream is for this Ummah to unite upon truth hand in hand
Just seems never ending the corruption in Islam (some Muslims)…

I dream of one day washing up on a Muslim land
Rushing with the believers to worship You as we hear the Adhaan…

I pray I find a righteous man who’s main goal is to gain Your Pleasure
One who will practice Sabr through any obstacle, remembering that Your Reward even beats finding water in a dry desert…

O Allah! I Love You so
Since the day You guided me to You many friends have become foe…

It is to please You that my heart strives for
Even after You roll up the heavens and death comes knocking on every door!!!!

 – Umm Alimaia

Words Worthy of Golden Ink

Posted: October 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

It was narrated upon Shaqeeq al-Balkhi (rahimahullah) that he said to Hatim:
“You have accompanied me for a while so what have you learnt from me?”

He said: “I have learnt from you 8 things:

Firstly: I looked at the creation and found that every person has something which is beloved to him and when he reaches his grave this beloved thing is cut off from him. So I have made my beloved, my good deeds so that it will remain with me in the grave.

Secondly:  I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“And as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts”

So I strove against my soul defending it from desires until it settled upon obedience to Allah.

Thirdly: I saw that everyone who has something precious safeguards it (with much care), so then I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“And that which you have will perish and that which is with Allah will remain”

So whenever I came across something which I found to be precious I directed it to Him so that it will remain with Him for me.

Fourthly: I saw that the people were depending upon their wealth, nobility and dignity, which are all nothing (in reality) so I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“Indeed the most honorable of you in the sight of Allah are those who are most pious amongst you”

So I proceeded upon taqwa in order to gain an honorable standing with him (subhaanahu wa ta’aala).

Fifthly: I saw the people being jealous of each other so I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“We have divided between them their livelihood”

So I abandoned jealousy because it is in opposition to the destiny of Allah.

Sixthly: I saw them having enmity between themselves so I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“Indeed the Satan is an enemy for you so take him as your enemy”

So I abandoned this enmity and took the shaytaan as my sole enemy.

Seventhly: I saw them resorting to shameful measures in search for provision so I looked at the saying of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala):

“And there is not a creature on the Earth except that Allah provides for it”.

So I engaged myself (in establishing) His rights that He (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) has over me and entrusted what is mine, with him, in assurance of his promise.

Eighthly: I saw them relying (solely) upon their trade and products and strong healthy bodies but I put my trust in Allah the lord of the worlds.

Source: Sahab.Net
(Translated by Abu Obeid, jazzahullaahu khairan)

Taken from:

The Importance of Tawheed

Posted: October 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

A brief article with 17 points on the benefits and virtues of Tawheed.

1. It is the pillar upon which Islam is built. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Islam is built upon five: The Tawheed of Allah… (Related by Muslim no. 19)

2. The greatest need for mankind, since there is no life for the hearts nor delight nor tranquility except through knowing their Lord, the one to be worshiped, the creator.

3. It is the most noble branch of knowledge. As Imam Abu Hanifa mentioned, when he called his book which he compiled concerning the Usool ud Deen (fundamentals of the religion) “Fiqh al Akbar” (The greatest Fiqh)

4. It was the key and essence of the call of the messengers “Verily we have sent to every nation a messenger saying worship Allah and avoid the worship of false gods” (16:36)

5. Because Allah has created us to worship Him, “I have not created the Jin and mankind but to worship me” then how can we worship Allah, if we don’t know who He is? It is only through knowledge of His names and attributes we can learn about Allah.

6. Firmness upon the Deen, excellence in this world and salvation in the Hereafter is built upon this.
A) Because when you know Allah, His names, attributes and actions this necessitates loving Him, fearing Him, placing reliance upon Him etc.
B) When you know what Allah loves and is pleased with or angered and displeased with, you will rush to fulfill what He loves and avoid what He hates.

7. Its great emphasis in the Qur’an. The Qur’an begins with Tawheed (al Fatihah) and ends with Tawheed (al Ikhlas) likewise the greatest Ayat in the Qur’an describes Tawheed (of knowledge)

8. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) began his day with Tawheed by reciting Surah al Kafiroon and Ikhlas in the Sunan of Fajr and end with reciting these two Surahs in the Witr prayer. (related by Muslim)

9. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) mentioned it during his last illness (shows its importance) when he said “The curse of Allah be upon the Jews and the Christians for they took the graves of their prophets as places of worship.” (Bukhari)

10. It’s the first thing the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) invited to and preached to for thirteen years. “Say, none has the right to be worshiped and thus be successful.” (Ahmad 4/63)

11. And he ordered his companions to preach Tawheed when sending them to various communities. He (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) sent Muadh ibn Jabal to Yemen saying “Indeed you are going to the people of the book so let the first thing that you invite them to be the Tawheed of Allah” (Bukhari 1/13)

12. You have to compromise the three aspects together and not just believe in one, merely with the meaning “The one who has the power to create and originate” as the Arab Mushriks used to agree that Allah alone is the creator of everything, despite this they were still Mushriks. Plus this was not the true reality which Allah sent the messengers with. But rather we must believe in his Ruboobiyah, Uloohiyah and Asma was Sifaat together.

13. When you believe in the three aspects of Tawheed. i.e Ruboobiyah – You will negate any source of harm, blessing, power from any other than Allah. Uloohiyah – This will stop you from committing shirk. Asma was Sifaat – To have the correct knowledge of this will prevent you from distorting any of Allah’s names and attributes, or explaining them, or denying them or asking how they are.

14. If a person dies upon this he will enter Paradise. When the Jewish boy accepted Islam, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “All praise is for Allah who saved this boy from the fire.” Although this person had no good deeds. (Bukhari)

15. Tawheed is a condition for an action to be accepted, because for a deed to be accepted it requires 2 conditions.
A) The intention is purely for Allah (Tawheed al Ibaadah)
B) It must be in accordance with the Shariah of Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)

16. It strengthens ones heart and makes one firmer and well rooted. Then as a result ones deeds will multiply and likewise his worship of Allah will be greater.

17. It makes it easier to fulfill the commands of Allah and leave the prohibitions as Aaisha said: “Had the first revelation been do not drink and fornicate or commit adultery etc. they would have said we shall not give up adultery and fornication etc.” (Bukhari from Yusuf ibn Maalik)

For it was only after Tawheed was understood by the companions and had settled in their hearts that Allah began to order them with various commands.

The Righteous Wife

Posted: October 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

It is a duty upon all of us to fulfill our roles to the best of our ability in order to attain success in this life and for the Hereafter. The following are just a few hadeeth of the blessed Prophet Muhammad (peace and prayers be upon him), highlighting the position of women in their household, and the duty upon them in serving their husbands with regard to his rights upon her. Inshallah, with the correct intention in mind, fulfillment of this role and the striving to perfect her character according to the Quraan, Sunnnah, and the way of the Pious Predecessors, it will only cause her to attain the pleasure of her Creator, and bring her closer to attaining Jannah.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him said):

“Every soul from the children of Aadam is a master; so the man is the master of his family, and the woman is the mistress of her household.”

“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the woman will not fulfill the rights of her Lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband; and even if he were to request her for himself (i.e. to have sexual intercourse with her) whilst she was sitting upon a camel’s saddle, she should not refuse him”.

“It is not right that any human being should prostrate to another being, and if it were right for a human being to prostrate to another human being I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband due to the greatness of his right upon her. By Him in whose Hand is my soul, if from the crown of his head there was a wound pouring forth pus, and she (the wife) came and licked that, then she would (still) not have fulfilled his right.”

“If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not sit when his morning and evening meals were presented until he finished.”

“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (i.e. Ramadaan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.”

“Indeed he (i.e. the husband) is your Paradise and your Fire”

When asked “Which of the women is best?” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The one who gives him pleasure when he looks; obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes.”

“Your women from the people of paradise are the beloved and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes angry – comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, ‘I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).'”

“I was shown the Fire and found that the majority of its inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude.” It was said: “Is it that they disbelieve in Allaah ?” He said “They are ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good they do. If you were to treat one of them well always, and she then saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: ‘I have never seen any good from you.'”

Source: “Sifaat Zawjatus Saalihah”
(The Righteous Wife) by Muhammad Shooman, trans. by Aboo Talha Dawood ibn Ronald Burbank, (1996).

Sheikh Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy upon him) said:

Some of the people say that it is possible to take from the statement of the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings are upon him), “so that you can taste his honey and he can taste your honey”, that we can take what is called a honeymoon so is this correct?

[Translator’s Footnote: Originally “honeymoon” simply described the period just after the wedding when things are at their sweetest; it is assumed to wane in a month. (Wikipedia)]

Yes this is correct. But the honey is not just for a month if you remain with the woman; rather the honey will be continuous not just for a month.

As for traveling during this month to lands that are not befitting to be traveled to then this is a waste of money. And then we hear about some of the people who travel to outside countries and they go to swimming pools, night clubs, and theaters, and his wife is uncovered, revealing her head, chest and arms, and so on and so forth; and with Allah refuge is sought.

This only occurs from someone who has changed the favor of Allah into ingratitude; rather the reward for this blessing is for the person to increase in thanking Allah and to live with his family in a good manner.

But what is the ruling on the one who says, ‘instead of this I will go with my wife to Umrah, (for the honeymoon)?

We say this is good, but it is not good. Because it is obvious that the origin of this is taken from the non Muslims; we did not know of this during the time of the previous scholars or during the time of the pious predecessors and none of the people of knowledge spoke about doing this, therefore this has been obtained from the non Muslims; this is one angle.

From another angle, I fear that if a long time passes by and the people are making marriage a legitimate reason for making Umrah then it will be said, it is the Sunnah for everyone who gets married to make Umrah. Therefore we would have invented for an act of worship, a reason that has not been legislated, and this is a problem. Because if a long time passes the condition of the people will change and they will forget the beginning.

For this reason we say, have the honeymoon in your room, in your home and make the honeymoon forever not one month; and the praises belong to Allah for well-being.

Translated by Rasheed Barbee