Etiquettes of a Righteous Wife

Posted: December 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

Khutbah from Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin Al-Qasim, Imaam of Masjid An-Nabawee

The smart wife is she who makes her heart an abode of relaxation and tranquility for her husband, and who makes him feel joy just by talking to her; she lives with him in contentment and deals with him kindly.

  • She obeys him in all matters except when it entails disobedience to Allaah and she acknowledges the favours that he has done for her.
  • Also, she fulfils all her rights and accepts that he has a superior standing and a higher rank than her, as the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: “If I were to command anyone one to prostrate to another human, then I would have commanded the wife to prostrate to her husband.” Shaykh Al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said commenting upon this Hadeeth: “There is no right after those of Allaah and His Messenger sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam which is of a higher priority to fulfil than that of the husband.”
  • The righteous wife reminds her husband about Allaah when he become heedless; if she sees that he is becoming indulged in this life, she reminds him of the Hereafter;
  • she helps him through the hardships of life and never exposes his secrets;
  • she always obeys him and supports him in his dutifulness to his parents because she realises that they were the ones who raised and cultivated him;
  • she seeks her Lord’s pleasure by pleasing her husband and never focuses on his mistakes or exposes his shortcomings;
  • she looks after him when he is present and absent; she honours him when he is around and defends him when he is absent;
  • she never overburdens him with unnecessary expenses; her main concern is to please Allaah by virtue of pleasing her husband;
  • she cultivates his children upon righteousness and never disobeys any of his commands.

The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, gave his wife Khadeejah, may Allaah be pleased with her, glad tidings of a house in Paradise which is made out of pearls and in which there will be no displeasure nor anxiety; Imaam Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said: “This was because she never raised her voice over that of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam and was never displeased with him, even for a day, and she never harmed him in any way”.

A wise woman once advised her daughter at the time of her wedding by saying: “O my daughter! You will never get what you desire from him until you give precedence to his pleasures over yours and his desires over yours whether you like them or hate them.”

Chastity is the core of a noble life, and the real beauty of a wife is realised when she remains at home, as ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “It is better for the woman that men never see her and she never sees them.”

A religious woman who is obedient to her Lord will

  • never deal with her husband with arrogance,
  • nor will she rebel against his guardianship;
  • she will never try to assume his role;
  • she always seeks his comfort and is always at his service;
  • she will never go to sleep while he is angry with her, until she has pleased him, because she realises that her success and her gaining of Paradise is subject to her obedience to her husband, along with fulfilling her obligations to her Lord.
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